Nickname: Snowy

Enjoys: Destructive prose in match reports; blocking; his new   Harrow size bat

Dislikes: Being called Guy; run rates above 20

Best Skill: Match reports; taking crucial wickets with the Snowball   slowball

Favourite shot: The leave – intentional or otherwise

Weakness: Too nice in person, too nasty in writing

Funniest Moment: When he got his new bat, which nobody mentioned

Best Moment: Being given out at LBW in the interclub off a ‘thick edge’

Quote: “Guy is ****** and **** which **** *****, **** like a ****” (abridged summary of match report after the aforementioned LBW)