Nickname: Mupes, Muppet

Best Skill: The sweepy, paddly thing to the leg

Weakness: Belief in right and wrong; fondness for French DJs? (Inappropriate touching on tour he put down to beer after “concussion”)

Dislikes: Inappropriate banter

Biggest Fear: Boris

Funniest Moment: “Concussion” on tour

Best Moment: The century he scored for Crossbats (just before the war)

Favourite Drink: Anything bitter (ale)