Game : Crossbats 2nd XI v. Wind In the Willows XI
Venue: Hampton Wick 21st May 2011
A strong line up was called for against these tough ex-Nottingham Uni lads who gave us a walloping last year and the guile of the Crossbats lads was at its height as pre-match preparation of copious amounts of Friday night lager saw eleven pasty faces at one o’clock. The Sherwood Foresters must have picked up on this as pre-match nerves and the Twickenham traffic saw only two of them at the agreed start of play. At half past one enough of the Windys had arrived that Crossbats took to the field and Charlie ‘the Schalk’ van Vuuren tore in, breeze behind him, down the slope to open the bowling. A few balls later the Windys opener gave a pearler of an edge at comfortable catching height to Collier at first slip, but in the well established Crossbats tradition of giving the opposition a few extra chances the edge went begging as the leather bit the dust of Bushey Park.
A run out by ‘the Schalk’ by direct hit saw the first wicket followed by a great take by Rossy at gully off Gumbley. Enter Zero into the attack. Unfortunately memories of beach touch Rugby was soon to get the better of him as five overs later the hamstring was a gonner and captain Arse completed the over. Meanwhile Rossy, turning his arm over at the other end picked up two wickets. With ‘the Schalk’ taking a vital wicket off his final ball and the Windy’s middle order batsman cleverly picking out the only Crossbats man who can catch in the deep to give captain Wright a wicket it looked like the opposition total was to be restricted. Unfortunately they had other ideas and a plethora of boundaries and running meant the luckless Collier, Reeve and du Plessis saw their bowling averages take a bit of a beating.
271 was the target then as tea was taken served, as usual, by smiling Lech Walesa and all eyes were on Arse and Sphing to put the sword to the Notts lads when Crossbats started their reply. One minute later Arse was joined by du Plessis (who still needs a derogatory nickname) and much debate was heard on the boundary about the correct technical term for a first baller of an innings. Wikipedia to the rescue lads – diamond duck, platinum duck or royal duck depending on regional usage. Back to the game and a century partnership when the score reached 100 came and optimism rose amongst the spectators as Sir David Birch OBE turned up to support accompanied by plastic bag from the off licence and the familiar clink of a bottle of wine or two. Arse was to depart for 25 when Du Plessis was accompanied briefly by Carter for 4 runs, before himself falling for an excellent 61.
As Louis XV said on his deathbed “Après moi la deluge” and sure enough that was how event were to unfold. Rossy saw the Schalk (2), keeper George (4), Lips (4, good boundary by the way), and Pest (keeping Sphing company with a golden) all go in succession. With Zero hampered by the hamstring (or was it fear of embarrassment) the opposition in a display of generosity allowed the Schalk to bat again and duly put on some cafeteria bowling which Rossy duly helped himself to. Schalky in the meantime in display of solidarity in his second bat of the day joined the talents of Sphing and Pest to post the third nought of the innings leaving a stranded Ross on 34 not out including a well struck six!
Sixty-four short then as a good turnout in the clubhouse saw the arrival of Spiro for a Peroni. “See you next year ….if you’ll have us” the opposition captain called out as the Willows made their way back at the end of a slightly one-sided game.
Author: Rupert Barnes