Crossbats congregated at Melrose on a warm, muggy day for the 8th fixture of the season.
Last years encounter had seen Crossbats up against some sprightly colts and it appeared that todays match was not going to be any different.
The return of Collier to the team was immediately noticable, with the conversational volume going up and the conversational content experiencing a rather sharpe decline. However, with a time game thrust in front of them, the toss won, it would be Collier to take the reins alongside opening partner Clive Nichols.
Neither of the pair dissapointed, both living up to there reputations......one as a swashbuckling run scorer and the other a run out merchant.
With only a few balls bowled, Collier tickled one down the ground - Nichols, convinced there was more than a single on offer, turned and called the second.......however, Nichols was undone by youthful exuberince and a keen eye as he found himself floundering mid pitch with a fantastic view of the young chaps direct hit.
Wright was summoned to the crease a little earlier than expected, leaving his stella to get to a comfortable pommy warmth on the picnic table. Luckily for the beer, it wasn't too long before Arse's lips were cool and wet again, being bowled for 5.
In the mean time, Collier was adjusting to the pace of the pitch and beginning to stroke the ball nicely. He would have had 30 or 40 by this time had it not been for some good feilding and Collier's unique ability to hit directly to the oppostion players.
He was joined by Carter who was looking to continue last weeks good form. And continue he did, hitting a wonderful straight six to get his innings going, followed up by a lusty boundary for good measure. Unfortunately it all ended to soon for Carter, hitting one back to the bowler and perishing for 13.
Spiro, sporting a new B-cup breast implant on his right forearm, looked positive and he and Collier turned the strike and began to put together a healthy partnership. The pair added 50+ before Spiro was dismissed for 10.
Dunbar was searching for some of last years form and began in an agressive manner. The tempo was rising and these two looked as though they could take the game right away from Melrose. Collier, finding the middle of the bat, hit his first boundary in 15 overs and Dunbar chimed in with two of his own. The spinners were on and Dunbar took advantage, hitting a straight six down the ground, followed by a skied six into cow corner. His luck
ran out however, been caught in no mans land and stumped for a quickfire 22.
Collier, who had passed fifty was joined by Smith, who looked in good touch. The pair added more valuable runs - Collier, pushing on towards a ton was now in fine hitting form, finding the boundary on numerous occassions. Smith was also finding plenty of holes in the field, yeilding a plethora of singles and two's. Smith's innings came to an end after he was squared up by a straight one and bowled, not before adding a valuable 17.
Frasers stay at the crease was short lived. Having hit a very nice boundary a ball earlier, Fraser looked to turn one into leg side, but was undone when a young colt took and extremely sharp catch to send Fraser back to the hut for not many.
The message was sent to get some quick runs in preparation for a declaration.
Van Vuuren joined Collier and looked dangerous from ball one. He played some lovely shots and was rewarded with boundaries. Collier, with a century in sight, also began to hit out - but unfortunately his excellent innings came to an end when he feathered one through to the keeper for a well earned 86.
Van Vuuren finsihed with some more boundaries and a lovely six, before Dunbar said enoughs enough, having posted a commanding 217/8, leaving Melrose the target of 218 off about 40 overs.
Lunch was plentiful and it was consumed with vigor by the crossbats outfit.
On returning to the pitch, it would be Van Vuuren and Bob Jones to open the attack. After 5 or six overs it became apparent that Melrose had no real intention of winning this game. They shut up shop and played out for the draw.
Frustrated, the crossbats began to get restless and though the bowling was good, the breakthrough wasn't coming.
Some poor umpiring decisions gave lives to the Melrose batsmen. Bob Jones toiled and finally broke through, sending one of the young colts back to the pavillion by way of a good catch to Nichols.
Melrose captain was next at the crease and looked uneasy from the outset. Van Vuuren was on target but unlucky not to claim his wicket. It wasn't long before Crossbats had there second breakthrough, with Jones coaxing the batsmen to pull, but he got none of it and the simplist of catches was claimed by Spiro.
Reeve wasn't going to miss out and after replacing Van Vuuren, he picked up one for himself when the batsmen missed a strait one and was adjudged LBW.
All the while, one of the Melrose batsmen had been compiling a few runs and looked to be comfortable at the crease.
Things started to take a little turn however, when the batsmen, upset at the appealing from the crossbats behind the stumps, proceeded to inform keeper Collier that the appeals were wasted and shouldn't be considered.....a small exchange followed and this set about creating the tone for the last, dramatic stanza of the match.
With Melrose trickling along at about 1 run per over, Dunbar decided to bring Fraser on from one end and himself from the other.
After Fraser hit the batsmen with a full bunger and then having him dismissed shortly after, the non striker and main Melrose run scorer began to get a little wankerish. Dunbar, wanting to knock the batsmen over, over pitched slightly, taking the whinger on the glove. This seemed to compound the batsmens fear of medium pace bowling and
slow spongy wickets, requesting that the bowling be slowed down so the twat could see it and then hit it.
Riled, Dunbar dragged himself and Fraser from the crease, opting to make a point and give the batsmen a taste of Arse......Wright that is and his effective grenade style bowling.
What frustrated crossbats to the point of some colorful verbal sledging was the fact that this herpie started twating the slower bowlers to all parts. Mape' Carter was the fuel at the other end, tossing up some generous half volleys, to add to this spineless cricketers tally.
With the game rapidly fizzling out and the danger that Man of the match Collier, Spiro or any host of antipodeans might set upon the controversial batsmen, the last overs were bowled quickly and the game ended in a particularly boring, but mildly spicy draw.
The aftermatch was a little icy and the crossbats we sure not to outstay their welcome and returned to the safe haven of the Turks Head, where discussions of the days play, league cricket and coming tours were on offer.
The return fixture with Melrose is at the Wick in a few weeks time and one things for certain - there wont be a timed game in sight and the bowling will be hostile!