Hampton Wick: 14th May 2011
Game 5: Crossbats 2nd XI versus Eel Pie Island
New opponents for Crossbats this week, Eel Pie Island playing only their second ever match. Bringing a solid amateur approach to the game, the EP’s turned up with a crate of beer, happily got changed in the middle of a field and then informed Captain Wright that they would prefer to bat second in order to dampen their collective hangover. The mood was set for the day, and thus Carter and Collier took guard at the top of the innings for Crossbats.
In the early stages, what looked like youthful enthusiasm from the energetic Eel Pie opening bowlers led to a barrage of wides, bouncers and more wides. Things did calm down, perhaps as the youngsters sobered up, meanwhile Collier and Carter looked solid and progressed serenely. One exception was Collier cutting limply to Point, whereby the fieldsman dropped what some reckoned to be an even easier one than Fraser spilled last week. With the score at 43, Carter stretched forward, buffing the ball with both pads prior to a confident appeal. Slightly to his bemusement, Umpire Van Vuuren raised the dreaded finger and Carter had to go.
The man next in was Wright, the leading runscorer so far this season. With little to really stay in my memory from this period of play, all I can recall is that Wright biffed a couple boundaries, Collier cut and drove pleasantly at times, and then Eel Pie brought on their secret weapon. A man by the name of A Cole, a series of agonisingly slow deliveries gradually reaped dividends against batsman unable to cope with his, err, guile. Cole was quick to strike, as the innings really hit the pits. First to go was Wright, swishing across the line in trademark fashion and looping the ball to square leg. Next in was Nicholls, who after a soporific period of play could not help himself and lobbed up a feeble attempt at a square cut straight to Point – who made no mistake this time. Sensing that someone needed to take the fight to this minor hero, the always right-wing Collier waltzed down the wicket, aiming a tremendous mow back over the bowler’s head. Unfortunately, Collier was playing down the Jubilee Line, while the ball was actually on the Metropolitan Line. Eel Pie’s keeper had the bails off in a flash and Collier had to go.
It is worth commenting at this point on Eel Pie’s wicketkeeper, whose technique could best be described as unorthodox. Wearing a helmet when standing back, fiddling with his jock-strap incessantly when standing up, and with a strange obsession for Radio Jackie, the young man also developed a severe limp at some point in the proceedings which presumably was as a result of the ferret that he seemed to have down his trousers. That said, he did seem rather adept at stopping the ball with all parts of his anatomy, a talent that goes a long way at this level.
With the score on 104 for 4, things looked to be stagnating. But that was without reckoning for Crossbats’ unlikely pairing of Sookdeo and Ross. The phrase “a mix of youth and experience” is often used by spoilt journalists sat in their media centres watching the cream of sporting talent. How little they know. With Ross making up 78% of their combined age of 73, but perhaps only 17% of their mitochondria, a very entertaining partnership ensued. Sookdeo played with rare panache, hooking, pulling and driving to excellent effect. At the other end, Ross was quite literally bellying (sic) his years, sprinting back and forth, and at times even back again. The ball suddenly seemed to be hitting the middle of the bat repeatedly, and the previously vocal Eel Pie fieldsmen became rather muted as misfields and overthrows became increasingly frequent. Sookdeo played very well for 47, before finally being caught superbly on the boundary. That left Fraser to play a 3 ball cameo for 9 runs, and Ross finished undefeated on 40, a fine effort that did much to repair his faltering average. Innings closed at 211 for 5 off 35 overs, a healthy total.
It’s fair to say, as the teams returned after tea, that Crossbats had no idea what to expect from their maverick opponents. Van Vuuren and Gumbley opened the bowling, with early blows from Eel Pie’s Byron suggesting it could be game on. As it transpired, this was but a storm in a teacup. An over later, Fraser pulled off a surprisingly athletic catch for a man whose hamstrings are clearly on their last legs. What followed was a procession of batsmen entering and then quickly departing the scene. Gumbley confirmed his return to form with 2 wickets, while Van Vuuren managed to bowl a couple of “straight ones” which paid dividends. As usual, this feisty African took the opportunity to remind his colleagues that the only way to take wickets in this team is to bowl it straight, advice that he so rarely seems to listen to.
Relative new boy Alderman then had a bowl. Using a degree of variety which would certainly have had Hawkeye struggling, it was far too sophisticated for the nervous Eel Pie batsmen. Giving the umpires and keeper plenty of exercise, he weaved his magic to finish with 3 for 23, including a smart stumping from Collier and a couple of catches from Nicholls and Reeve. Indeed Reeve, in a mesmeric spell of 4 overs, saw chances spilled and stumpings turned down, only to finish with 2 wickets to his name. The final coup de grace came as Nicholls swooped from fine leg and hurled in an exocet missile over the bails for Collier to take the glory and run out last man Mark. Eel Pie were out for 86 in 17.5 overs, giving Crossbats a comfortable 125 run win.