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The only obstacle on route was the matter of buying provisions to the scheduled barbeque that evening at La Chateaux.
While a few headed for Le Super Marché the remainder of the team relaxed and were getting use to the unfamiliar surrounding complete with baby, cat, Mademoiselle and other generation of family members.
Then panic!! Call from Drips rounding the troops as the opo were expecting us for the welcoming party and we were late!
Donned in white we headed to the ground. Head hung low avoiding eye contact during handshakes with the ex-pats + other members who made up the Damazan team.
We lost the toss and we were fielding. Now no one actually know was the temperature was but with drinks every 7 overs my guess was early mid 30s. This was going to be a difficult afternoon.
The only possible saving grace was many of the Damazan team would have made Dad's Army look like a kindergarten.
Now Solihull is not famous for many thing but it did that day it did produce a batmen who not only had the ability to smash it to all parts but he also had the ability to reduce the crossbats team members to bicker as to where the best place to bowl to him was which in Basil Fawlty's word "was stating the bleeding obvious"
After smashing the opening bowlers to all parts and 70+ runs later the damage was done by the West Midlands gem.
Crossbats morale has disintegrated but there was time for one or two jovial moments.
Crock/La or was it Le Bouff (I will pay the Euro for the incomplete name) had damage his body throwing it in from the boundary but still managed to complete 3 overs.
Le Bouff made his debut with one over. Arse's plea to Frazer (staying with the Dad's Army theme - the umpire) to be lenient with calling wides were ignored.
Slugs (Private Godfrey) jollity
Arse's attempt to pass the ball to Strokey on the boundary only resulting him in "doing a strokey" and conceding 4 (a re-enactment at the barbeque was made later in the evening)
Frazer's general miserable tone/threatening to take Strokey off after a beamer was bowled.
Damazan quite rightly thought 290 was enough an declared with several over's left of there allotted 40.
For most parts the Crossbats batting was forgetful and not worthy much journalistic attention.
We were knackered. Arse decided to tread on his stumps, Srokey charging the cavalry before if even arrived.
Wozzys quote of "what's the fuc*ing point, there is a cripple (Vrrrooommm) batting with a fuc*ing cripple (Monika) running for him - Fantastic
Vrrroommmmm batting (11) with only one side of his body working which forced him to play straight.
Wozzy scored a fine 60 in difficult circumstances and we finished about 100 short.
Author - M SPIRO