Once more unto the breach my friends....

After the ignominy of defeat the previous day, a suspiciously large toulouse sausage and litres of the local vintage, Crossbats arrived at the field of battle determined to show the foes of Damazan the true fighting spirit of the English invaders and find somewhere to lie down away from the 35 degrees of Aquitane sun.

The cunning Damazan captain had other ideas initially suggesting that we should field first in order to give their team (who had travelled so far to entertain us...) an interesting game.  The indomitable Arse refused to take such punishment lying down and insisted upon a toss – which he duly lost.

So back out onto the searingly hot fields of France the rag-tag bunch of Crossbats wearily trod aided by the addition of the previous days opposing captain, Pete, who was promptly thrown the ball and asked to open the bowling.

Fox like attributes should also be afforded to Arse who had sussed the oppo's tactics of inserting two less than useful openers and the tight bowling of the first ten overs  between Pete and Buffy  paid dividends by exerting pressure upon the remainder of their team and keeping fresh our only sub 30 year old player, Jade.

With his bald dome gleaming in the sunlight Jade removed one of the slow scoring but obstinate openers only to bring to the crease a talented Indian who set about compiling an increasingly accomplished fifty.  However, Monica managed to put the brakes on him by bowling around the wicket and nearing the end of the Damazan innings the classy batsman was frustrated into playing an outrageous reverse sweep and falling clean bowled to Drips.

Then followed another early declaration by the Damazan team with just a couple of the 35 overs to spare.  The previous days early finish might have been construed as merciful but this one appeared arrogant, if not just plain rude.  Jade had bowled a dozen or so overs with just one success to his name – surely he and Drips should have been allowed a further chance to improve their figures.

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth prompted a segregated eating of tea and plotting of revenge action was rife.  In such troubled times emerged our great leader who bellowed such inspirational words. 

“I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, straining upon the start.  The game's afoot; Follow your spirit and upon this charge, Cry – God for Jade, England and Crossbats!”

or something similar...

The Crossbats batsmen stiffened their sinews and summoned their blood and traded blows with the raging Damazan horde.  Heroic knocks from Wozzy (another score in the sixties despite threatening to deposit kilos of the previous nights bbq upon the wicket), Buffy who notched up his best score in living memory and brief, but violent, contributions from Arse and Mupes brought the required total of 191 agonisingly close.

Still just under 50 required at a rate of 8 an over and a new pairing of Drips and Jade were in the middle.   

Boom Boom – a pair of cannon like boundaries from Jade's first two deliveries, then two monstrous sixes launched high into the humid air.  Drips, brave as ever under the short ball barrage, played  uniquely skilful shots to bring the bald destroyer back on strike.  Jade's 43 runs from just 17 deliveries ensured  victory for Crossbats with two overs to spare and a lesson for Damazan to learn about declarations in limited over games.

To the victor the spoils - to the vanquished we have just one word to say. Merci!  

Author : Clive Lawrence