Your correspondent is somewhat the worse for wear but nevertheless files the following report:

There was a time when a spot of drizzle would cause this fixture to be cancelled on a Wednesday preceding the Saturday as the groundsman protected his precious wicket. Not so nowadays and despite inclement weather the game was on.

A new type of Crossbat attended this fixture, one that could bat, field and catch. We were in unusually fine form and, after winning the toss, polished off the Bank of England in time for lunch, never mind tea. Banks scoreboard could have been mistaken for our normal paltry effort as they finished at 71 all out. This was a good stuff with all bowlers taking wickets and smart catching in the field. Winch took the opportunity to bat himself back into form and claim a useful 61 not out.

A beer match swiftly followed of 10 overs and Crossbats revealed their true selves with numerous ducks and individual scores barely reaching double figures for most of the team. Jones provided some solid lower order spine by treating the whole matter as an important test match. Piss taking in full throttle, this was an amusing end to the day's sport and another win.

Onward to the bar and after a couple of jugs and pleasant late evening sunshine at the Banks luxury facilities we moved off to Barnes and the Rising Sun Pub. Most of the conversation was dominated by what nick names should prevail on the tour to Portugal as we sought out the most offensive possibilities. Discussion of tours always provoke memories of "strawpeodoes" and "sambuca" and it was not long before the new boy Clive Nicholls was called to his initiation ceremony. Lanky Nick did not disappoint and showed his credentials for becoming a fully paid up member of the Cirrhosis Club.

Naturally, the event concluded with the obligatory curry and bed.

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Score card