Game 4: Bank of England v. Crossbats 2nd XI
Venue: Bank of England Sports Ground, Roehampton 7th May 2011
Game 4 saw Crossbats travel to the Bank of England sports ground in Roehampton on a temperate early May afternoon. In a sharp tactical move skipper Wright decided that taking the field after winning the toss was the key to stamping Crossbats authority of the day. Early wickets however were not at a premium as the Bank (presumably coached by Geoff Boycott and Cliff Tavare) decided that watching the ball miss the stumps or edging fine of the adept diver Ross at first slip was order of the day. By the time Gumbley had seen out his opening spell and destiny seemed to be holding on to his wicketless season du Plessis (for whom no derogatory nickname has yet been devised as he seems a bit handy and we want to hold on to him for a bit) came on with his nifty left arm rounders and soon bought wicket one of the day.
The fall of the first wicket brought the Bank’s number 3 to the wicket who, ably assisted by Zero and Pest each competing for the most dropped catches of the match, managed to bat on through for the Bank’s highest score. With matters starting to drift the tight bowling of Lips was replaced by Rags who bowled with great heart and no luck as the sop catch competition was at its height. Wright though smiled to himself as even with the bonus of a behind the wicket catch off the bowling of Ross he had yet to unleash the wily Anwar the deadly spin machine. No sooner was Anwar on that the clatter of the timbers was heard, but it was rejuvenated Gumbley whose second spell from the other end saw two further dismissal caught behind by Collier.
With the arrival of the injured Spiro from a Keith Floyd lookalike competition tea was called and the inevitable would they/wouldn’t they declare tension filled the air. Was it the dropped catch competition that had lulled them into a false sense of security? Whatever the reason 172 was enough for the Bank skipper.
Arse and Sphing to open the innings saw a quick fire plethora of boundaries from each as a 65 run partnership was broken by a catch on the boundary as Sphing went for another glory shot. But the momentum was not lost as Anwar showed the Bank’s spinners the meaning of the name of the game of “Fetch”. One stroke took many saw the arrival of Carter and very soon after the departure of Carter run out but Arse’s calling – well that was his story.
Cafeteria bowling followed as Arse and the enraged Rags pushed the score to within four of victory when Arse decided that four fours in one over was not enough and was bowled attempting the fifth for a top score of 67. Du Plessis (cheered on by his wife who then retired to the car) strolled to the wicket to back up the winning runs. A satisfying victory for Crossbats. But the excitement didn’t stop there as Schalk (complete with strange aroma), Stroppy (post knee op), Levene (showing clear signs of enjoying the offseason) and a new ‘player’ who is a Dutch chef and never played the game (so a perfect Crossbats recruit) joined all for a beer or two which saw the last straggler get home at 2am the following morning.
Author : Rupert Barnes